01.04.09
Posted in hulu, Random Sunday Afternoon Movie, drama, reviews at 3:21 pm by FilmFemme
I used to love the Random Sunday Afternoon movies that would come on TV and I would have never heard of. Now that I’m too cheap to pay for cable, I’m left to get my random movies from the internet. Hulu to the rescue!
Just Between Friends is a cheesy melodrama from 1986. Holly (Mary Tyler Moore, who is disgustingly, distractingly THIN here. Please eat a sandwich, Mary. PLEASE!) is married to Chip (Ted Danson, ALSO thin) and meets Sandy (Christine Lahti, REALLY THIN, too!) at an Awesomely 80s Aerobics class. Despite the fact that Holly is a straight laced housewife and Sandy is a chain smoking field reporter, the two women become fast friends (see title) and Holly invites Sandy to dinner at her house (people always do this in movies…become fast friends and have impromptu dinner parties). So Sandy comes over, the ladies chat and then Chip gets home from the office (he’s a seismologist for some reason). ZOMG, SANDY HAS BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH CHIP! Needless to say, this makes for a pretty fucking awkward dinner party with a lot of hemming and hawing that was patently ridiculous. I mean, seriously, couldn’t the affair participants at least pretend to make chit chat? These people are bad at having an affair.
So then Chip goes off to a conference in Washington…it’s some like nuclear affairs protest or something…are seismologists involved in that kind of thing? Seemed weird to me. But anyway, after the conference, ZOMG CHIP DIES IN A CAR CRASH!
More hemming and hawing. Sandy and Holly grow closer. Holly buys the gym where she took aerobics classes (WTF is up with the weird suspender leotards that chicks wore in the 80s? Seems horribly uncomfortable. But the aerobics montages are actually really awesome.) Then, of course, Holly is cleaning out Chip’s office at the seismology place in Pasadena and ZOMG SHE FINDS PICTURES OF SANDY AND CHIP TOGETHER!
They stop being friends and there is a lot of bitchy and passive aggressive behavior. Loooove to see that. There are attempts from both sides at trying to be friends again, then ZOMG IT TURNS OUT SANDY IS PREGNANT WITH CHIP’S BABY!
ZOMG SHE DECIDES TO HAVE THE BABY!
ZOMG HOLLY STARTS DATING CHIP’S COLLEAGUE HARRY (Sam Waterston, who is actually really cute in this movie and the only one who is not painfully thin)!
ZOMG SANDY HAS THE BABY AND EVERYONE IS FRIENDS AGAIN!
I love Mary Tyler Moore, but when she’s just being a normal actress and not an adorable ball of comedic neuroses, I don’t really have any interest in watching it. The sad part is, this movie isn’t quite bad enough to be hilariously bad. It’s just kind of annoying and…pointless. Predictable, boring, poorly directed, but a shining example of what was wrong with 80s fashions, in case you needed another one of those.
You can watch it here: Just Between Friends on Hulu
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12.29.08
Posted in action, sci fi, reviews at 12:12 pm by FilmFemme
Though most reviews of The Day the Earth Stood Still may focus on the cheap-looking visual effects, the predictably wooden acting, the melodramatic and awful writing or the painfully obnoxious Jaden Smith, I think that it’s important to look at the brilliant comedic aspect of this sci-fi remake. Namely, Keanu Reeves speaking Chinese was hands down one of the funniest things I saw on film this year.
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12.17.08
Posted in oscar buzz, misogyny, industry news at 2:55 pm by FilmFemme
So, I was recently let in on a little secret. There is something called the “Women’s Film Critics Circle.” And like any good Film Critics Circle, they have annual awards that are handed out in December. But this caucus of women who write about film (not the only group like this, mind you) has some unique categories in which they deem “honors.” They also have some opinions that vary wildly from mine. Let’s review some highlights, after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
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12.16.08
Posted in indie, drama, reviews at 9:55 am by FilmFemme
Usually, when a movie comes out with a couple of star actors – especially two that I happen to be fairly fond of — I hear about it. And if I don’t, it’s normally a very bad sign, not only in terms of poor marketing and disappointing box office, but also in terms of the quality of the film.
So when I was browsing around looking for a movie to see on Saturday and saw a picture of Mark Ruffalo, had to dig around on Rotten Tomatoes for ten mintues just to figure out what movie he was in (and then saw that it was co-starring Amanda Peet and Ethan Hawke!) I wasn’t expecting the moon when we decided to go to the true crime drama, What Doesn’t Kill You (great title, eh?) But lo and behold, for once in all of my cynical grumbling, I was pleasantly surprised.
The film, written and directed by Brian Goodman (with writing assistance from Paul T. Murray and Donnie “NKOTB” Wahlberg tells a fictionalized account of Goodman’s life (through the surrogate Brian Reilly, played by Mark Ruffalo) as a South Boston criminal, from stealing cigarettes to roughing up deadbeats and eventually his descent into a world of drug peddling, addiction and debt at the expense of his two sons and his long-suffering wife, Stacy (Amanda Peet). Always by his side and egging him on through these trials and tribulations is his best friend Paulie McDougan (Ethan Hawke). Read the rest of this entry »
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12.15.08
Posted in romance, drama, reviews at 3:22 pm by FilmFemme
As a teenager, I very vividly remember going to see Moulin Rouge. Even then, I was a budding film snob, but my adolescent heart was still fluttering with excitement, from the marketing, the music, the experience that it promised. And boy did it deliver. With Moulin Rouge, Baz Lurhmann put himself on my map (I know he was already on many others) and as such, I was truly looking forward to Australia, which reunited Luhrmann with Nicole Kidman and put her opposite the unfathomable hunkiness of Hugh Jackman. But, as you may have guessed by now, I was sorely disappointed.
Australia starts out OK. Kidman as Lady Sarah Ashley does look fantastic in the period costumes: high waisted trousers and hats galore. But after a beginning that drags on, reiterating over and over THIS GUY is evil and THIS GUY is good, once the story finally gets rolling, you’re not sure what to care about. First, Lady Ashley has to save her dead husband’s cattle business with the help of Hugh Jackman. Then she has to rescue a half-aboriginal boy who has been disowned by his white father. Then she has to use her wiles as an unconventional woman to take an untameable man. Then…oh god, I’m getting bored even summarizing this! The point is, there are just too many stories and TOO much packed into the movie. With an ungodly runtime of 2 hours and 45 minutes, I prayed for it to end at least 4 times…and even kept thinking it was going to. After all, he’s not going to try to pack *another* story in, is he? Oh wait. Yes. He is.
YAWN.
Oh Baz Luhrman, we know that an unconventional woman is all it takes to tame an untamable man. WE KNOW. Thanks.
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11.27.08
Posted in family, romance, comedy, guest reviews, action at 8:05 pm by FilmFemme
Home Alone
“Man, that kid is SMART!”
Shooter
“I thought the dude was gonna die, but then he didn’t.”
Must Love Dogs
[insert sound of him leaving the room]
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11.21.08
Posted in oscar buzz, foreign, industry news, drama, reviews at 11:23 am by FilmFemme
This movie is in French, so I have no idea what it’s about.
KIDDING!
“I’ve Loved You So Long,” is one of those meandering dramas where everyone seems very gray and sad, but for most of the movie you don’t really know why, but you could probably guess and nothing really HAPPENS, but things definitely happen. That is, there isn’t much action or even plot, to speak of, but characters change and grow and LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN.
Kristin Scott Thomas plays the character with the dark past. She’s actually British, but she speaks French and lives in France which is just so fucking cosmopolitan I can’t even stand it. Anyway, her character, Juliette, was recently released from jail and goes to stay with her sister, Lea (Elsa Zylberstein, who IS French) and her sister’s family while she gets back on her feet. The whooollleeee movie is about Juliette struggling to return to society, being stigmatized by people who know her secret and trying, indignantly, to convince her sister and her sister’s family that she’s OK and that everything will be OK.
The performances are emotional, raw, nuanced, moving. The script is meticulous and cuts to the quick of human interaction.
Needless to say, I was bored out of my mind. I hate films that are GOOD. No, that’s not true, I just really wasn’t in the mood for this. It’s well done, but I didn’t think it was necessary. It isn’t the innovative piece of art that last year’s Le Scaphandre et le papillon was. It’s slow. It tells a story well. But, I feel like it’s story may have been better suited (for me) to a novel. I can see pages of beautiful language about Juliette’s inner turmoil and even though KST’s face speaks volumes, I wasn’t moved like I wanted to be.
If this movie isn’t nominated for an Oscar, I will buy drinks for everyone who reads this blog. Either Best Foreign Picture or Best Actress or possibly both. If it IS nominated, well, I’ll get drunk anyway.
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11.18.08
Posted in drama, action, reviews at 5:12 pm by FilmFemme
Casino Royale is a divisive Bond film. There are a lot of young people like me who didn’t know anyone but Pierce Brosnan as Bond and never really got excited about the genre that he defined. For these people, Casino Royale and the First Blonde Bond marked an exciting change and made a new, if tentative, Bond fan. Casino Royale took popular elements of badassitude that sprung from lucrative places like the Bourne franchise and applied them to an old character. It also humanized Bond in way that was rare in past films. He allowed himself to care, to fall in love and ultimately to be hurt. This appeals to a modern audience that wants to relate to their heros on a deeper level. Superman is OK — but his popularity with today’s youth reached new heights only when they were allowed to see him as a gawky teenager on Smallville. The X-Men trilogy was hugely successful because anyone could be a mutant. I’m not breaking any new ground with these assessments, but I think that’s why Casino Royale resonated with a new Bond audience, myself included. The only part that I deeply disliked about Casino Royale was Eva Green as Vesper. How could *that* be the girl that Bond falls in love with? Her voice makes my teeth grate. Smoky deepness like ScarJo is one thing. Sounding like you’re 2 Marlboro Reds from a tracheotomy is something else. I also found her acting to be wooden and obnoxious and generally unlikable. But lucky for her, this isn’t a review of Casino Royale.
Quantum of Solace takes the Bond character that so many people were drawn to in Casino Royale and lets him keep being awesome without going soft. He’s learned his lesson now, and even better — he’s out for revenge. This time around, Bond wants the truth about his dead lover and will stop at nothing to get it! YES!
Unfortunately, some bad guys get in the way. The movie falls right in line with so many recent films and even albums that have been trying their best to cash in on the ubiquitous “greening” of everything. Yes, in 2008, the bond villains are eco-terrorists with a head honcho, one Dominic Greene (Eco-terrorist named Greene? No Comment.) played by the surprisingly short, but still somehow appealing Mathieu Amalric (who is also great at playing a guy who can only blink to communicate). While Bond tracks down Greene, has a tryst with a tall redhead, tries to get to the bottom of what happened with Vesper and constantly runs afoul of M., he also keeps encountering the luscious and exotic Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko, who had a scene stealing cameo in Max Payne, which I actually saw). At first, he thinks he has rescued her from the grips of a deposed Bolivian dictator, but then he learns that she is on her own mission of revenge and doesn’t need rescuing at all (Ok, maybe a tiiiiiny bit of rescuing). YES, YES, YES!
With thrilling, well shot action sequences, steely, compelling performances and an interesting if not entirely awesome plot, Quantum of Solace won’t make you fall in love with James Bond all over again. But it’s OK, because you’re already seduced from before.
And no, for the record, they never explain what the fuck the title is supposed to mean and yes, I think it’s a shitty title.
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11.16.08
Posted in armchair marketing, comedy, reviews at 7:32 pm by FilmFemme
Zack & Miri are best friends and roommates. They are unabashedly losers with dead end jobs, no money and a crappy apartment in a Pittsburgh suburb. With rent due, their heat and water turned off and an embarrassing high school reunion to overcome, Zack has the brilliant idea to make and distribute a porno. They encounter problems along the way, both with the movie’s production and with their relationship.
YAWN. There are no surprises here, it’s just a run of the mill, formulaic movie with a regimented plot structure injected with PORNO to make it seem different.
That being said, there are a lot of funny jokes. Seth Rogen is believeable as…Seth Rogen. Elizabeth Banks, fresh from her turn as Laura Bush in W. isn’t given too much to do except look cute and be kind of slutty (does Hollywood need another one of her? Seriously, I can do that. No, I DO do that, but it would be awesome to get paid for it!) Being a longtime Kevin Smith fan, I liked seeing Jason Mewes as one of the porn stars. He was actually kind of decent. Jeff Anderson also managed to get work as the porn’s camera man. No, he’s not in the porno, so you don’t have to watch him have simulated sex with anyone (thank god for small favors). The rest of the cast is also quite funny. Craig Robinson who is probably best known as Darryl on NBC’s The Office is always hilarious and ought to be on his way to bigger parts instead of being relegated to these scene-stealing co-star roles. I’m not sure if he’ll be up to the challenge, but I’d be surprised if someone didn’t give him a chance. Maybe a buddy movie with Martin Lawrence or something? Eh, that sounds awful, actually.
The thing about movies like Zack & Miri Make a Porno that has been lamented already more times than I can count is that a fat shlub like Seth Rogen could never get a hot chick like Elizabeth Banks. I don’t know, on a good day I’m a hot chick (no Elizabeth Banks or anything) and I would totally fuck Seth Rogen. Even if he wasn’t famous. I think that most guys have learned by now that the quickest way into a girl’s pants is to make her laugh, right? If you haven’t, take note. It is.
I liked Zack & Miri. I won’t be rushing out to buy the DVD or anything, but I liked it. I also appreciate that even though there are various feminist theories that hold porn and its existence as being inherently degrading and bad for women (see MacKinnon, Catharine and Dworkin, Andrea) this movie felt to me much less misogynistic than so many Hollywood films. The women in the movie aren’t helpless (well, Miri is broke, but so is Zack), they’re sexually liberated and aren’t punished for it. Even the bimbo porn starlet is dumb, sure, but she’s also a complete person. Ironic, maybe, but I think Kevin Smith has admirably pro-female tendencies in his films. I’d never thought about it before, but looking back at his filmography, I think it’s certainly true. Hm. I’m going to think about this further…
*Please note, a positive review of this movie is by no means an endorsement for the horrible posters, which I LOATHE.
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10.13.08
Posted in double feature, drama, reviews at 11:31 am by FilmFemme
“Who the fuck is Omar Benson Miller?” you may be asking. If you’re asking, then you clearly haven’t seen a movie with any black people in it in the last few years, because he has been in a bunch of them. He’s the huge one. Seriously, HUGE. 6′6″ and over 300lbs. He also happens to have had very prominent roles in the 2 recent black people movies that I saw.
Miracle at St. Anna
Black guys fight in WWII. And have sex with white women. And befriend a small Italian boy who may or may not be Jesus.
The Express
Black guys are good at football. People from Texas are racist. So are people from Syracuse, but not quite so much.
And sometimes really good football players get Leukemia and die before they get to play in the NFL. It’s probably not because they are black, though. Probably.
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