OMG whatever you do don’t watch this, even the last 20 minutes. Here’s what I figured out this movie was about: high powered executive goes searching for his ex-wife in the jungle and finds out they have a kid and brings him back to New York where he is a fish out of water [...]
SPOILER ALERT (anything I write while drunk will probably spoil something…)
Hey man, the whole plot of Kids is pretty fucked up. Here’s my problem, so this girl Jenny (Chloe Sevigny’s debut role) gets HIV from this totally immoral dude named Telly (Leo Fitzpatrick’s debut – and pretty much the last thing he did worth [...]
We Don’t Live Here Anymore is my second deterioration-of-a-marriage movie in as many days. I didn’t like it as much as Two for the Road but it was adequate.
Jack (Mark Ruffalo, whose hair seems to get fluffier as his marriage gets worse) is married to Terry (Laura Dern, who gets bonier and drunker as her [...]
Once a prime-time lens that hilariously magnified the cracks in our crumbling society, The Simpsons has kind of sucked balls for about as long as Tupac has been pretending to be dead. Hype said that writers from “the good years” were used for the movie, but I had still resolved not to attend unless it [...]
In 2001, when it came out, Hell House was probably a pretty cool movie for the religion-adverse. However, before I saw this movie I saw Jesus Camp and it was way better, way more disturbing and way more engaging. The most intriguing part of the people in Hell House is a weird side [...]
Boy is this poster misleading…
I once read a quote about Audrey Hepburn that said something like “She’s a woman that every woman wants to be like and every man forgets about.” I don’t know who said it and I couldn’t find in anywhere, but I am very curious as to the context of it [...]
This movie ought to be subtitled “Some Really Serious Shit.”
Hotel Rwanda definitely confirmed my suspicious that Don Cheadle is completely awesome. I haven’t seen Ray, but if I were Don, I would be pretty miffed that Jamie Foxx’s impression of Ray Charles beat me out for the most deserved Oscar in a long fucking [...]
Wow. This is some fucked up shit. Deliver Us From Evil is a documentary about this one particular Catholic priest in California named Oliver O’Grady who molested tons of kids and how the church covered it up and basically let him keep doing it because the head honcho in California wanted to be [...]
The third installment of the Bourne trilogy, The Bourne Ultimatum is packed with a lot of ass-kicking fight sequences and some just-satisfying-enough conclusions.
After three years of jetting around the world and beating lots of ass, Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is finally getting close to figuring out who he is. Unfortunately, there’s a nosy journalist [...]
Yes, apparently you can graduate from film school without ever seeing Die Hard. However, after finally watching it, I don’t think that should be the case because it is patently awesome.
I was going to skip over the plot, but then I realized there really isn’t that much plot to speak of. Basically John McClane (Bruce [...]