FilmFemme

Yes, apparently you can graduate from film school without ever seeing Die Hard. However, after finally watching it, I don’t think that should be the case because it is patently awesome.

I was going to skip over the plot, but then I realized there really isn’t that much plot to speak of. Basically John McClane (Bruce Willis) is in Los Angeles (Century City) visiting his wife (sort of ugly curly-haired executive type) at Christmas. Her Japanese-owned company is having their Christmas party when a group of terrorists, led by pre-Snape Alan Rickman, barges in and takes them all hostage. They ostensibly want some of the bonds (some sort of untraceable, internationally recognized currency) that are in the vault. When the company’s president won’t give them the passwords they need, they kill him. Luckily, McClane was in the bathroom when all of this happened and avoids being taken hostage. Instead, he proceeds to kick all kinds of ass all over the building while the LAPD stad by helplessly. Except for Carl from Family Matters who believes in McClane all along.

What’s truly great about this movie is not just the really awesome explosions and Bruce Willis’ total jaw-dropping sexiness, but the truly sharp and just the right amount of action-film-cheesy dialogue. This is my favorite exchange from the film that will endear me to Alan Rickman forever (courtesy of IMDb):

Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors : In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec… In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement…
John McClane: [listening on the radio] What the fuck?
Karl: [mouthing silently] Asian Dawn?
Hans: [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.

See? Isn’t that completely hilarious? Right after this, I’m sure something blows up or someone gets shot or beat to death so as not to interrupt the flow of violence & action. I guess you could say that the movie is a little predictable, but as I said, the plot is less than important. I loved this movie and I’m moving Die Hard 2 to the top of my queue right now.

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