08.20.07
The first 25 minutes of 300
So, for some reason I had wanted to see this movie. So when my roommate brought it home and wanted to watch it after Heathers, I thought it could be cool and I stuck around. Let’s keep in mind that my review of Heathers was my most recent Drunk Review. Needless to say, I had not sobered up by the time we popped in 300.
From what I gathered in my impaired state, a bunch of dudes, let’s call them the Six-Pack Spartans, need to go fight some other dudes, only there are way more of the other dudes. But it’s OK because the Spartans all have six-packs and what seem to amount to magical shields and generally superhuman asskicking abilities.
The whole movie is a weird shade of brownish-gold. And deeply crimson blood flies around in slow motion. And there’s some guy who wears a bunch of jewelry who the Spartans hate (probably because he like asked them for blowjobs or something, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened). There’s also a heavy-handed voiceover that explains *exactly* what is going on. And one chick who is like queen or something.
I know I was drunk and all, but, this movie was really confusing and the plot seemed to only function to string together hyper-stylized fight scenes. Lots of nice six-packs, though…I wish I could have gone to the wrap party for this movie.