09.13.07
Reno 911!: Miami
Just as I was typing the title to this post, I realized that the title was a play on CSI: Miami, my favorite CSI. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before.
Anyway.
I was reluctant to see Reno 911!: Miami, actually, even though I really love the show. Mostly because the trailers and posters were a total affront to anything that might be called ‘aesthetics’ or ‘good taste.’ But I should have known better, because no one does bad taste better than these guys. Aside from the ridiculous premise, which I will get to, the movie was decently funny. *
WARNING: SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP
The very beginning of the movie was pretty clever, I have to hand it to them. It was a play on the beginning of many episodes of the show where Junior (I think he might actually be my favorite character - Ben Garant actually directed the movie too. I think I kind of have the hots for him [see, Doug Benson, a sense of humor IS important]) falls asleep at the wheel, but it’s like a hilarious dream sequence where the Reno SD find themselves basically in Die Hard. Anyway, it was funny.
Then it felt like the exposition went on forever.* They get invited to a police convention in Miami (I’m still unclear on the difference between “police” and “sherrif’s deputies”) and they go down there only they’re not on the list for some reason so they have to go stay at some seedy hotel where the other guests are all having some sort of ’suckfest’ which the weird foreign owner goes on and on about in a hilarious little aside.**
Naturally, the police convention is the target of a biological weapons attack. Apparently EVERY SINGLE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER IN MIAMI WAS INSIDE THE CONVENTION. Now they are ALL quarantined. Luckily, the Reno folks were not allowed inside and/or were late, so they are all OK. Then The Rock shows up for a cameo. Hotness. But he gets killed really quickly (I know, I was sad too) and then the Reno Sherrif’s Department is left in charge of fighting crime in Miami Beach.
For a little while it’s like a normal episode and they encounter weird people (including Terry!!) and alligators and beached whales and gratuitous nudity.
Garcia and Jones are repeatedly kidnapped by a Scarface-type character (Paul Rudd) who thinks they are spies or something? This part of the plot was confusing. Actually this was pretty much the only ‘plot.’ Patton Oswalt was also involved - he was acting mayor since all the real mayor-types were also at the convention. Then like, somehow, the Reno peeps (I did) fight the Scarface guy (turns out he’s from Fort Collins) and get the antidote to the biological weapons that were used on the cops and save the day and then inadvertently capture Patton Oswalt as the mastermind. Honestly, I wish he had played his D&D nerd character from the show because that character cracks me up.
There are also some side stories like Trudie making Dangle fuck her (ew!), Junior fucking a 13 year old (uh…) and Clementine searching for this guy that she fell in love with while she was drunk & of whom she got a tattoo. SPOILER ALERT: it was Garcia. There is a good Terry subplot (I’m a little reluctant to call it that) too that is kinda funny - but that guy can do almost anything and I will laugh.
Ok, I’ve spent way too long summarizing this movie. Bottom line: get high and it will make you laugh even though you might not know what’s going on for long stretches. And that whale scene from the trailer actually wasn’t too gross.
*I was decently high
**God, as I’m recounting this plot and remembering how much I laughed, I’m starting to think I was more than decently high.