09.09.07
Posted in comedy, reviews at 12:39 pm by FilmFemme
Let’s all bow our heads and say a little prayer of thanks that we haven’t heard from Jim Breuer in a long while.
This movie sucks.
UPDATE: Hey - that girl in this movie is that Sarah Silverman’s less talented (yes, that’s somehow possible) sister Laura Silverman. Who was Sarah banging in 1998 to get this part for her sister? Ooh, Laura Silverman is also the voice of prissy stepmom Linda on Home Movies. I love IMDb. AND she was the receptionist on Dr. Katz. Ok, I officially like this Silverman sister the best. Prove me wrong, Sarah.
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09.05.07
Posted in armchair marketing, guest reviews at 11:28 am by spectacle_triage
Is that the preferred spelling?
This also makes me question ihop’s “Come hungry. Leave happy.” campaign…
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Posted in armchair marketing, guest reviews at 9:49 am by spectacle_triage
Poster Review
Despite his obvious physical prowess and leadership skills, The Rock doesn’t look prepared to handle the responsibilities that a bulldog in a tiara can bring, much less the meanderings of that precocious little ballerina! He’s gonna need the help of every other football player with a speaking role, and probably some similarly cocoa-skinned love interest (not pictured) to get him through this ordeal!
We can only ponder what lessons he’ll learn along the way… that is until we all see The Game Plan on September 28th. Line up early if you want to make the midnight showing!
Armchair Marketing:
- Can we get that towel out of the way of The Rock’s crotch? Women 30-45 respond well to spandex-bound moose knuckle. If that won’t fly I guess they can live vicariously through the dog, which looks like it’s about to reach behind the towel. Read the rest of this entry »
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09.03.07
Posted in comedy, reviews at 4:09 pm by FilmFemme
In anticipation of ABC’s new show “Cavemen,” I watched the 1981 movie Caveman. It was one of the best decisions I have made in quite a while.
Caveman stars Ringo Starr (yes, the Beatle) as Atouk, a caveman who is in love with this slutty cave girl Lana (Barabara Bach) who likes to stick her ass out and wiggle it around a lot. Only, Lana is already like caveman-married to the big guy (played by the same guy who was Sloth in The Goonies! Interesting trivia…)that is in charge of all the other cavemen. So Atouk tries to kidnap her but fails and then is ostracized from the tribe. Oh, there are also a lot of claymation-type dinosaurs and some funny dinosaur gags, like having them howl at the moon.
Now on his own, Atouk runs into his friend Lar (a really pretty Dennis Quaid - I had no idea Dennis Quaid used to look like this) and they pair up. Soon they meet Shelley Long and her blind dad and start a band of misfit cavemen. Eventually they encounter a big group of other misfits, including a black dude, some gay cavemen and an Asian caveman who speaks English. It is probably important to mention that there is no English dialogue in this movie. They speak in a grunt-y type caveman language. I thought this would detract from my experience, but it really didn’t.
Atouk convinces the other misfit cavemen (he also shows them all how to walk upright) to help him capture Lana and they do successfully kidnap her. But when all the cavemen start to pay too much attention to Lana, Shelly Long decides to reveal their whereabouts to the big caveman guy from the other tribe. So the other tribe attacks the misfits and takes all the women back with them, including Lana. Then somehow (I forget how), Atouk ends up in a fight with the huge guy and Lana like kicks him but Atouk wins the fight and he like hoists her up as his prize and carries her up on this big rock while Shelley Long cries but then he drops her because of course he is really in love with Shelley Long and just wanted to fuck with her head, like all cavemen like to do.
I thought that Ringo Starr did a really great job speaking caveman and prancing around in leather & fur. Shelley Long looked preposterous, but can you think of any time that Shelley Long wasn’t preposterous? OH! The misfit cavemen also invent rock & roll. That is a good scene.
All in all, the best parts of this movie were the dinosaur scenes because they were really cheesy and hilarious. I highly recommend Caveman and any other Ringo Starr films you can get your hands on. Personally, I’m going to go rent another old Dennis Quaid movie.
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09.01.07
Posted in comedy, classic, reviews at 5:32 pm by FilmFemme
I wonder, has anyone asked Lindsey Lohan what she thinks of Owen Wilson?
Honestly, Up in Smoke was kind of boring. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the decades of stoner comedies that have come since 1978 but I was just not excited by this movie.
So, “Man” (that’s his character’s name(even though IMDb says his name is Anthony “Man” Stoner), he’s played by Tommy Chong) apparently has really rich parents and we meet him while they are telling him that he has to get a job or he’s going to military school. And I was thinking WTF, they can send him to military school? He’s like 40! Anyway, so he runs away in his VW but it breaks down on PCH and he is picked up by Pedro (Cheech Marin). They smoke a huge joint and sort of go to jail but then they are magically at home again and have to go out searching for weed. They don’t find any, so they come home. They are also in some sort of band with a couple of black guys. Hey, did you know Tommy Chong was white? I don’t think I knew that. I guess because he always looks tan and/or dirty. Then they get ‘deported’ (this is a little funny - Pedro’s family has called INS on themselves so that they can get a free ride to Mexico). In Mexico they meet up with Pedro’s cousin who has a van that needs to be driven back to L.A. except they don’t know that the van is made of pot. So, they drive back to L.A., pick up some skanks and are chased by some inept cops and never suffer any consequences. Oh and they have to get back to L.A. for a battle of the bands at the Roxy. Which they win because the van starts to burn and everyone in the place gets high and for some reason Pedro is wearing a tutu. I think it ends with Pedro getting beer dumped on his crotch.
I think I would have to say, maybe this movie should only be watched when the viewer is preposterously high themselves because, while some of the sight gags elicited a smile, I don’t think I actually laughed through the whole thing. But maybe I would have if I had been high. I should try a second viewing tomorrow around 4:20.
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