Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Yay Cate Blanchett!
Yay pretty costumes! (textile porn?)
Yay Clive Owen!
Boo misogyny! (e.g., “I’m the queen of fucking England and I’m going to totally lose my shit if I don’t get laid! Pick me, Clive Owen! Choose me! Either fuck me or die in the Spanish Armada because even though I am totally awesome and hot and smart I’m really just a raging ball of hormones and a deafening biological clock because after all, I am a woman!”)
Boo nonsensical pseudo-historical plot! (Uh, Prince of Austria, Isabella of Spain, uh, Indians, The New World, Sir Walter Raleigh, um, Catholics, Cate Blanchett in the bath making vaguely lesbian overtures to the chick that might have banged Ryan Phillippe back when he was married to Reese Witherspoon, um, beheading, midget, um, who cares – here’s some big boats on fire)
Boo not enough Samantha Morton! (is there ever enough Samantha Morton?)
Meh, Elizabeth: The Golden Age!