01.28.08
Posted in best of, thriller, drama, reviews at 1:23 pm by FilmFemme
Name a great Woody Allen crime/punishment/guilt/searching for God thriller:
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Name a Woody Allen crime/punishment/guilt/searching for God thriller that would barely be worth $6.50 somewhere in Iowa, much less $14 at the Arclight in Hollywood:
Cassandra’s Dream
Which is more fun to watch, Colin Farrell as the bright spot in Cassandra’s Dream or Colin Farrell fucking a model on that sex tape?
Trick question! They are both fun to watch in their own way.
Name a woman who is hot and great to see starring in a Woody Allen movie because she’s very womanly (see: a plenty, curves) but still portrayed as “the hot girl” but is not really much of an actress:
Hayley Atwell (you get partial credit for Scarlett Johansson, but the ‘great to see starring in a Woody Allen movie’ part of the question would be wrong wrong wrong.)
Who likes the poster anyway and is going to keep going to see Woody Allen movies as long as they don’t star ScarJo or someone else that I find patently offensive because she loves Annie Hall and Manhattan more than every other movie combined?
It’s me. The sad answer for that one is ME.
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Posted in indie, double feature, drama, reviews at 1:02 pm by FilmFemme
Dear Patricia “Patty” Clarkson,
You are so beautiful and so talented and I really hope that
(1) You get to fucking star in something really soon. Because you are totally awesome as a supporting actress, but I want someone to write something really spectacular (me, maybe?) FOR you. Because you are awesome. and
(2) That I look half as great as you when I am 49. 3/4 as great? No, half would be just fine.
Love,
FilmFemme
The reviews:
The Station Agent
Actor Thomas McCarthy, who you might recognize from HBO’S The Wire (uhhh…) or All the King’s Men (try again…), ok, um, Michael Clayton (he was just a voice in that, dude)…right, then, you probably wouldn’t recognize him but he made his feature debut as both a writer and director with 2003’s The Station Agent starring the most awesome dwarf actor since Danny Devito (sorry!) Peter Dinklage, our lady Dame Patricia Clarkson and hot & goofy Bobby Cannavale (oh, THAT’s who that is!) And it’s a pretty fucking great movie.
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01.27.08
Posted in romance, double feature, drama, reviews at 1:15 pm by FilmFemme
Atonement
Yes, we get it, your movie, your score, James McAvoy in a a suit and Keira Knightley in green satin are all very pretty. Everyone is in love and/or dead and/or wracked with guilt and it’s all very tragic.
There Will Be Blood
Yes, we get it, Daniel Day-Lewis has three names and is a great actor - truly intimidating and calculating and cold and awesome. Everyone is ambitious and/or crazy and/or doomed and it’s all very dramatic.
Paul Dano is a revelation, though. I’m sad that his Academy nod didn’t come through , because I think it was deserved. I feel like there is some discrimination against young men in the Oscars - because there’s always some young starlet or girl (Abigail Breslin? Come on! This year it’s Atonement’s own Saorise Ronan [um, get a name that’s easier to spell and then we’ll talk]) that’s nominated, but never a young guy. Too bad, Paul. I think you’re great.
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Posted in thriller, drama, reviews at 12:43 pm by FilmFemme
A word of advice for any dude who is thinking about watching Hard Candy, do yourself a favor and don’t eat beforehand.
In Hard Candy, this photographer, Jeff (hot hot in glasses Patrick Wilson) chats up a 14 year old girl Hayley (everyone’s favorite impregnanted precocious teen, Ellen Page at her pixiest) online. They meet for coffee, she convinces him to take her back to his house where she proceeds to drug and fuck with him for the majority of the movie. She does some seriously depraved shit.
It’s really well directed, really well acted and the definition of provocative. Basically Hayley is convinced that Jeff is a molester and deserves everything she does to him so I kind of sat there (as I know I was supposed to) the whole time thinking “Jesus, does *anyone* deserve this kind of shit?” But it’s the moments of tension and the bright and blurry production design that really stood out to me. When Hayley gives Jeff a semblance of a chance to escape, his panic is so palpable, not only because of Patrick Wilson (can I reiterate how hot he is even as a child molester? Hot!) but also because of the way the camera pans frantically around his ultramodern neatly decorated house with red and yellow contrastingly saturated walls and the hot and cool color filters. I also think it’s a mark of a well-directed movie when you can feel that kind of tension without the benefit of heavyhanded scoring. I totally hate overscoring, but there really isn’t much to be found here, so that’s just great!
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Posted in drama, reviews at 12:02 pm by FilmFemme
I look at this poster and think “Yep, that’s about right.” Meryl Streep and Liam Neeson looming over an introspective Ed Furlong is pretty much what Before and After amounts to. Which isn’t to say that Furlong doesn’t hold his own against those two thespianic behemoths, because he does, but he barely speaks for the first hour of the movie.
Jacob (Furlong) runs away from home and then it turns out his girlfriend is dead from a car jack to the head (um, yeah, gross) so his parents, Carolyn (Streep) and Ben (Neeson) have to figure out what the fuck to do. Then Ben finds some evidence in their car and destroys it, Jacob (hm, biblical name…and his sister (Julia Weldon) goes by ‘Jude’ - she’s a little girl and has a running narration which is passable at best) turns up and the rest of the movie is about moral relativity and if it’s OK to lie since he’s sort of technically innocent and all of that. Also, Alfred Molina looks so so skeezy with a moustache, which I guess means he looks like a defense attorney…one you might find on the front of a phone book (Accidentes!).
The movie isn’t bad, per se, but there is a definite Lifetime/Hallmark Channel kind of feel to it which I think it brought about by snowy Massachussetts panoramas, a supercheesy score, mediocre and obvious direction and pretty banal dialogue. Oh, maybe it is bad, actually. I’m remiss to say “Before and After is a bad movie” though, because I do (always) like Liam Neeson and Meryl Streep and the core of the story is really interesting, you know in a “What would I do” kind of way. But for a before/after in a marriage when a son is involved in some tragedy story I think that In the Bedroom is a better bet.
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Posted in drama, reviews at 2:12 am by FilmFemme
Painfully honest in so many ways, The Last Kiss is a well made and likable ensemble romantic (?) drama. Zach Braff (what’s the deal with his lips? they’re so puffy…) is totally in love with Jacinda Barrett (she is really lovely - I don’t think there is a better word to describe her) who is pregnant. But, he’s 29 and therefore completely terrified of commitment because, you know, not fucking another woman for the rest of your life is not really much better than death. You know, I don’t mean to be flippant about that, because it does sound pretty terrifying. Anyway.
Michael (Braff) is at a friend’s wedding and meets Kim (Rachel Bilson). The two embark on a very short and nearly innocent affair. Meanwhile, Michael’s best friends face their own crises. Chris (Casey Affleck) isn’t sure if he wants to stay married to the nagging mother of his toddler, Izzy (Michael Weston) had his heart broken and wants to go to South America to get away from his pain and Kenny (Eric Christian Olsen) is just fucking whoever he can (which is like, a lot of hot chicks because he’s pretty fucking sexy). Jenna (Barrett) is not only facing the crisis of having a baby, but her parents, Anna (Blythe Danner) and Stephen (Tom Wilkinson) are having their own problems because Anna doesn’t feel loved and wants to run away with Harold Ramis. Soooo many relationship problems in this movie.
But something about it doesn’t go over the top. I never felt like it was too much drama - I just felt that it was real. It’s real to be scared of having a baby or to feel like your life isn’t really all you thought it was going to be, even though it looks like it is. Also, as much as someone might want to demonize Michael for ultimately fucking Kim while Jenna is home alone & pregnant - it’s Rachel Bilson, guys. And she is coming on to him *strong* Who is going to resist that? I wouldn’t, even if I was pregnant.
The writing and the performances were really what stood out in this movie. I thought Casey Affleck was really good in his supporting part and Blythe Danner was regal yet vulnerable and Jacinda Barrett really redeemed herself from Poseidon (which I actually liked…) “Range” isn’t really a word that comes to mind when you say “Zach Braff” but this was a good role for him. For all the problems it enumerates, The Last Kiss still made me really want a boyfriend 
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Posted in film festivals, indie, documentary, reviews at 1:17 am by FilmFemme
On a whim, I found myself at the Sundance Film Festival last weekend. It’s a weird scene, like everyone that you bump into on Beverly Drive between 1 & 2 PM just decided to buy a puffy jacket and a scarf and head off to Utah. Like everyone’s all makeup’d with straightened hair and sunglasses in case they find themselves in the background of some WireImage photo or something. It’s kind of awesome and was really entertaining to me. Anyway, on to the movie.
The one screening that I got to go to was the world premiere of a documentary about rock legend Patti Smith called Patti Smith: Dream of Life. It’s been well documented that I am a fan of music documentaries (yes, Rockumentaries) and I think that’s what made me like this one, more than the quality of it. It’s a meandering dream of the last 12 years of Smith’s life since her husband died. It seems that the filmmaker (colossally douchey photographer) Steven Sebring (careful, that site takes control of your browser size…classy…) basically just followed her around for about 12 years and they became BFF and he filmed her and put together this movie. It’s definitely a valentine to Smith, who is a totally cool and talented and rocking chick. But as a film, there’s not much of a story which made it wear on me pretty quickly. As a result of budgetary and equipment restraints, there are a lot of different looks to the film - black and white, grainy, saturated, etc. which was kind of interesting but didn’t have any real rhyme or reason to it. Smith herself is captivating, but as someone who wasn’t a fan before this movie, I couldn’t help but think: “Ok, great, but, so…?” I don’t think this will win the Audience Award, but it’s kind of interesting to have what amounts to a backstage pass to such an influential figure’s life.
Smith obviously loves her children and did love her husband, but I wish I had known more about who he was and what their relationship was like. Smith provides a haunting voiceover throughout and frames the film with some candid interviews in her bedroom. This minimal structure definitely helped, but I wanted more - more story, structure, more past. I still liked it, though.
The Q&A afterwards was great, too. Patti Smith was inches away from me and really funny. One exchange with an audience member (seriously, don’t let people ask questions because people are idiots) went like this:
IDIOT: As someone who has basically shaped their life and choices around your music…
PATTI: You know, there are doctors for that
IDIOT: Huh?
Haha - zing!
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01.26.08
Posted in obituaries, opinion, industry news at 8:27 pm by FilmFemme
When I was 15, I thought it would be cool to be a film snob. It’s hard to be a 15 year old girl and be a snob about anything - if you want to have any friends, which I did want. Actually, I needed friends, because I couldn’t drive yet and didn’t want to hang out with my parents basically ever. So, when I couldn’t convince my dad to drive me to the Egyptian theatre in Denver, I would go to the movies with my 15 year old friends. This is how I saw gems like Bounce and Forces of Nature (hmm…Ben Affleck doesn’t have a drug problem, does he? Too bad.) However. This is also how I saw 10 Things I Hate About You and how I fell in love with Heath Ledger. Everyone mentions the swoon-worthy moment of Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You on the bleachers while Julia Stiles‘ Kat plays soccer, but that’s not the moment I replay. Kat and Heath find themselves at one of those wild high school parties that seem to only happen in movies. She drinks too much, dances on a table and eventually barfs. But even though up until this point, Heath was only seducing her because he was getting paid, he takes care of her. And he is so fucking charming and beautiful. I still want that.
I was too young and unhip to really be affected by the deaths of other young luminaries like River Phoenix or Kurt Cobain. I am old enough now and I feel affected. What makes me so sad is the knowledge that he will never be in another movie (who is going to take his roles? Josh Hartnett? Please!). His resume is so short when I know that he would have kept getting better and better (not to mention hotter and hotter). It’s my understanding he was even going to venture into directing. It’s so tragic, it really is. So let’s just watch one of his movies, weep and say no to drugs. Well, at least two of those things.
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01.17.08
Posted in foreign, drama, reviews at 8:53 pm by FilmFemme
So, that’s not totally what Javier Bardem looks like in Mondays in the Sun, this Spanish movie that I watched months ago, but omg, you guys, he is so fucking sexy. Like, pin me against the wall sexy. Like, I would do anything you asked me to, even if it meant cleaning my bathroom or baking or something equally horrible just to be allowed to touch him sexy. (Btw, I know I’m totally late jumping on the Bardem bandwagon, but I really don’t care.)
Anyway. This is one of those really dark, super depressing movies where dudes work at a port, only actually the port got shut down and no one can get work and it completely sucks to be them (see Waterfront, On The).
Bardem is Santa (um, yeah) the (sexy) star who is really brooding and angry (supersexy) about how he can’t get work. So he hangs out with all his friends, who also can’t get work and drinks a lot. There’s this heartbreaking scene where he actually takes babysitting job from the bartender’s daughter because he is so desperate for money.
I dig this kind of movie, if I’m in the right mood. The dark yellow tints of the photography and the really touching performances are totally effective. The subplot of Santa’s friend, Jose (Luis Tosar) is also really great: he is so emasculated by the fact that his wife has a job and he doesn’t that he pushes her away until there is no salvaging their marriage. The way that his wife is shot - showing her at her smelly fish packing (I think) job and then coming home to shower and desperately, but gracefully, beg for affection is so so sad and I totally related to it.
Mondays in the Sun is not really an upper. But. Still good. (And sexy).
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Posted in foreign, indie, comedy, animated, drama, reviews at 8:22 pm by FilmFemme
Hey, a movie that I don’t feel compelled to tag with ‘misogynist’! Hooray!
Actually, I sort of love this movie. I saw it on accident because Atonement was sold out and didn’t know anything about it except someone “heard it was good” and “was based on a graphic novel or something.”
So.
Yes, it is animated. Yes, it is based on a graphic novel. Yes, it is good.
Persepolis is the story of a young woman who spent her early childhood in Iran, during a lot of political upheaval, and was eventually sent to France because there was too much turmoil and danger in Iran. The story starts in the middle, then goes back to the main character, Marjane’s, early childhood and through her adolescence. It not only taught me a shitload of Iranian history (while still being monstrously compelling), it’s also a really sweet story of a girl growing up that I could totally relate to! Also, how fucking adorable is the animation:
That’s the little girl (Marjane) pretending she’s Chairman Mao or possibly Jackie Chan. I don’t remember specifically, but sooooo cute!
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