03.01.08

Charlie Bartlett

Posted in best of, indie, comedy, reviews at 10:31 pm by FilmFemme

You know what movies I LOVE? Igby Goes Down, Rushmore and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

This is none of those movies.

Charlie Bartlett was supposed to come out last summer but it didn’t. I’m not sure if it had anything to do with Virginia Tech, but maybe because of like psychoactive drugs and suicidal teenagers, they wanted to wait. Or maybe it was retooled or something. Who knows (OK, someone knows, but I’m not doing an investigation or something, I’m just trying to tell you about this awful movie). But now that it’s out - I hope it goes away really soon.

Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin) gets kicked out of a bunch of private schools (a la Igby) so he moves home with his overly-medicated mom (Hope Davis) who is a single parent (Igby, Rushmore) and goes to public school (Rushmore). Though he doesn’t fit in at first (Rushmore), he slowly wins everyone with psychotherapy in the boys room and psychiatric medications over until he rules the school (Rushmore, Bueller). He also falls in love with Susan (Kat Dennings, the buxom daughter from 40 Year Old Virgin) who happens to be the principal’s (Robert Downey Jr.) daughter (kind of Bueller). There is some debacle with cameras in the student lounge and blah blah blah Charlie teaches everyone to love themselves, even the suicidal kid who OD’s on the drugs that he sold him: turns out he really just wanted someone to read his play! (Rushmore!)

How many ways are there for one movie to suck? Besides being completely derivative of a few really great movies, Charlie Bartlett is really horribly written. Really. Bad. The plot is so trite and predictable. Anton Yelchin cannot carry a movie. Robert Downey Jr. can’t save a movie (ok, maybe Only You - adorable! What is Marissa Tomei up to anyway? Hopefully something better than this.) Kat Dennings can’t be the hot girl (I’m really sorry, but all she has is one expression, two volumes and a huge rack.)

They literally put on a play about teen angst at the end of the movie. Written by the suicidal kid. Wherein Susan sings and it makes her dad cry because like a few minutes before he was like “I miss hearing you sing.” Oh, he’s also an alcoholic and there is a scene right before the play where he is waving a gun around drunk. This just made me think of that awesome quote that RDJ gave at one of his drug hearings or something where he said “It’s like I’ve got a shotgun in my mouth with my finger on the trigger and I like the taste of the gun metal.”

I think I might watch Rushmore or Igby Goes Down to get the taste of this movie out of my mouth. Then I’ll find a shotgun for writer Gustin Nash (1. What the hell kind of name is that?? 2. IMDb says he wrote another movie called “Youth in Revolt” that has been announced. Which movie that I love is he going to rip off horribly this time? Rebel Without a Cause? Jesus.)

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