05.12.08
Speed Racer
Lights, Camera, Holy Shit Tons of Bright Colors Everywhere! It’s like a rainbow drank too many Jell-O Shots and Barfed!
Speed Racer is a fun time. Speed Racer is a little kid (Nicholas Elia, a child actor that really bears an uncanny resemblance to Emile Hirsch) who can’t concentrate on anything in school because all he can think about it RACING.
His older brother, Rex (Scott Porter – the hot but paralyzed quarterback from Friday Night Lights) sometimes takes him the the crazy futuristic race track and lets him drive even though he’s only like 8 or something. Then one day Rex dies and everyone is like, so sad.
Speed grows up (and is now Emile Hirsch) and becomes an awesome driver. He even graduates from whatever ‘high school’ is called in Speed Racer world with the help of his adorable girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci who has like the cutest hair that I could never pull off) who is totally smart and in loooooove with him.
Speed is impressing everyone so much with his mad driving skillz that he is courted by evil racing sponsor Royalton (a perfectly cast Roger Allam). Then there are all kinds of decisions to be made and races to be won.
The real centerpiece of Speed Racer is the racing sequences (surprise!). For the most part, the bright colors and flashing lights kept me & my puppy-length attention span entertained but occasionally — stay with me here — it was just too fast. I know, that sounds really stupid. Maybe it’s a technological limitation but the CG cars were going so fast and the bright colors were streaking by to the point that I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on. It’s hard to feel suspense about who is going to win a race when you can’t even tell who is in the lead.
Apart from that, I was entertained by most of the plot that clipped along and was quotably goofy (”Oh my god. Was that a ninja??”). The actors seemed to take themselves just seriously enough. John Goodman as Speed’s dad sat on the “a little too seriously” end and Ricci on the “maybe not quite serious enough” with Hirsch comfortably in the middle. Matthew Fox as Racer X was also awesomely hot and mysterious. Paulie Litt as Spritle Racer with his pet chimp Chim Chim and Susan Sarandon with her distractingly large knockers as the Racer mom round out the cast nicely though I got a bit tired of the antics of both. I was also a little frustrated when, at one point, Trixie gets to drive and it turns out she’s an awesome driver AND she’s way smarter than Speed, but she’s still not much more than a glorified cheerleader. Boo.
If nothing else, this movie is sure to make one impression: you will be singing “Go, Speed Racer, Go!” for at least a week. Do do do do dooooo!
ashok said,
May 19, 2008 at 8:41 am
Hmm. I’m definitely more open to seeing this now: it sounds a lot like the anime I watch, over-the-top and unafraid.