09.29.08
Posted in period?, romance, drama, reviews at 11:08 am by FilmFemme
Sometimes I think that I might just be a lesbian that likes sex with men. Those times include whenever I see Keira Knightley. I used to think that I hated her, for whatever reason, out of sheer jealousy that she’s so thin and successful maybe. But every time I see her face, I just can’t look away. I think she’s so spectacularly beautiful.
So I can’t help but think that these warm feelings for Ms. Knightley colored my opinion of her most recent foray into corset-wearing drama (where you even find a corset in a size 0 is beyond me), The Duchess. In a “tale as old as time” fashion, Keira, as Georgiana Spencer, finds herself betrothed to the Duke of Devonshire (Ralph Fiennes — wtf, how do you pronounce his name anyway? Rafe? Ralph? who knows). They marry and it’s all very glamorous until she finds out that all he wants from her is a male heir and for her to stay out of the damn way while he does what, and who, he pleases. This includes him expecting her to warmly welcome and raise a young girl that comes to live with them who he had fathered 6 years before, with another woman. Georgiana and her headstrong nature do not take too kindly to this setup, but she tries to do her duty as duchess. Unfortunately she gives birth to a couple of girls first.
Anyway, I’m getting kind of bored writing this synopsis. It’s all very dramatic and there are affairs and kids and temper tantrums and almost some lesbian sex between Knightly and Hayley Atwell (remember her lusciousness?) Everything is very heavy and detailed and brocade and regal and larger than life and I really enjoyed it. And I’m in love with Keira Knightley…did I mention that?
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09.27.08
Posted in obituaries, opinion, industry news at 9:16 am by FilmFemme
With the passing of 83 year old movie legend Paul Newman yesterday at his home in Westport, Connecticut, plenty will be said about his storied career, long and successful marriage, foray into charitable salad dressings and pasta sauces, irreverent and self-deprecating humor, piercing blue eyes and iconic roles like Butch Cassidy and Cool Hand Luke. I’m not an obituary writer and won’t rehash all of that.
But when I heard the news, besides the tinge of grief and “Oh, no 
” that always comes when someone that you have identified with or admired dies, I felt a sense of indignation. Besides all of the greatness that will be exalted for the next week or so, with pointless interviews and maybe a marathon of his movies on TCM, Paul Newman, to me, always represented an unerring bastion of class. Behind his mischievous and sexy grin, you never suspected anything sinister. He was wholesome, devoted, honest, funny, charming and talented. And I’m left wondering — who is taking his place? Is there anyone left in Hollywood without sordid pasts to hide, paralyzing insecurities, a complete lack of restraint or impulse control? Who sees their work as an actor as a job - a good job - but not a right, not a means to fame and fortune and a golden ticket to bypass shame or decency? With these celebrated stars dying, to whom are they leaving their legacy?
The “giants” of today’s Hollywood are people that mean box-office. Obnoxious starlets like Scarlett Johannsen and their male counterparts like Shia LeBeouf. The slightly older stars like Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, proclaimed class acts like Kate Winslet or Charlize Theron are still susceptible to being perturbed by their fame. Surely it’s true that they are subjected to more scrutiny than Newman ever was, but I don’t know — isn’t there some way for them to maintain sophistication? Mystery? Charm?
Maybe the state of the movie business is even to blame. With so much dreck, it’s probably difficult to be excited about your job all of the time. To not just see it as an empty paycheck. It makes me almost nauseous to think that Renee Zellweger has the same number of Oscars as Paul Newman (1).
This is making me depressed. I’m going to watch a (good) movie.
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09.23.08
Posted in off topic, opinion at 2:06 pm by FilmFemme
These are the lyrics to my current favorite song. I haven’t found it as a ringtone yet, but just you wait…(some of the best stuff is highlighted after the jump).
My President
Young Jeezy feat. Nas
Yeah Be The Realest Shit I Never Wrote
I Aint Write This Shit By The Way Nigga
Some Real Shit Right Here Nigga
This Will Be The Realest Shit You Ever Quote
Lets Go!
My President Is Black, My Lambo’s Blue
And I Be God Damn If My Rims Aint Too
My Momma Aint At Home & Daddy Still In Jail
Tryna Make A Plate Anybody Seen The Scale
Lets Go! Read the rest of this entry »
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09.22.08
Posted in western, misogyny, reviews at 12:02 pm by FilmFemme
Appaloosa, a stylish Western starring the intimidating and rugged Ed Harris, the sexy and suave Viggo Mortensen (yes, why, feel free to take advantage of me on a staircase, that would be just fine, actually…) and the inexplicably employed Renee Zellweger (I’ll be damned if I’m going to search out the e with an accent mark for her) is only playing in 6 theaters in Los Angeles County. As you might imagine, there are a lot more than 6 theatres in Los Angeles County. Why might that be? Inquiring FilmFemmes want to know!
The answer that I have deduced is that it is because it is such an awful movie.*
Virgil Cole (Harris) and Everett Hicks (Mortensen) — oh god, those NAMES!! — come to Appaloosa offering their services as vigilante law enforcement to take the town back from Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons channeling Daniel Day Lewis channeling Daniel Plainview) and his band of rowdy outlaws who killed the last sherrif, or something. There’s a lot of intimidating, mainly in the form of Viggo Mortensen silently posed with a shotgun and Cole is briefly distracted by the arrival of Allison French (Zellweger) who is single and “not a whore” but is still kind of a whore. Oh yeah, there is nothing likable about any of the women that appear in the movie, either, which is something I tend to note. Anyway, Cole and Hitch’s main objective is to convict Bragg of murder and watch him hang in the name of justice. They encounter obstacles, find out that Allison is kind of a whore, have some gun battles, ride some trains and eventually reclaim Appaloosa. Kind of.
Ed Harris directed the script that he co-wrote which reads like someone had a screenplay checklist that included a couple of plot points and some character quirks. The story is fine, passable Western fare with outlaws, some violence, some horses and a little bit of romance. But the story drags on, the goofy jokes completely negate any sense of caring you might have. And oh, you have to look at Renee Zellweger for a significant portion of the movie.
*Turns out the answer is that it is not in wide release until October 3rd. I like my reason better.
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09.04.08
Posted in misogyny, comedy, reviews at 9:07 am by FilmFemme
Get ready, readers. All 4 of you. I’m about to lose all credibility.
I liked The House Bunny.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it was a good movie in terms of acting, writing or direction. But I did like it. I really did.
I used to watch Anna Faris with a wrinkled nose, begrudging her of her fame, thinking that anyone can play the dumb girl in Scary Movie and wondering why she kept getting parts. When I saw her in the abysmal Just Friends, I changed my tune. Anna Faris is actually hilarious. In The House Bunny, she plays Shelley, an ugly duckling little girl who grew up in an orphanage and then blossomed into a Playboy Bunny who Hef invited to live at the mansion. Isn’t your heart warm already?
But on her 27th birthday, she is unceremoniously kicked to the curb and forced to find her own way in the big wide world of L.A. She quickly latches on to sorority culture and hops her way into the position of House Mother at the Zeta Alpha Zeta sorority. So, with the help of Shelley, the ugly ducklings of Zeta Alpha Zeta learn to be pretty outside and — get this — inside, too! She also teaches them how to get laid.
One caveat, try not to *think* druing this movie. Not about the past or the future or how rush week actually works at a sorority (I pray to god that you don’t even know how rush week works at a sorority) or how Katherine McPhee is too hot to play a misfit and Rumer Willis is too ugly to have spawned from Demi Moore. Just have fun.
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