11.27.08
Thanksgiving Guest Reviews: My 12 Year Old Cousin
“Man, that kid is SMART!”
“I thought the dude was gonna die, but then he didn’t.”
[insert sound of him leaving the room]
11.21.08
Il y a longtemps que je t’aime
This movie is in French, so I have no idea what it’s about.
KIDDING!
“I’ve Loved You So Long,” is one of those meandering dramas where everyone seems very gray and sad, but for most of the movie you don’t really know why, but you could probably guess and nothing really HAPPENS, but things definitely happen. That is, there isn’t much action or even plot, to speak of, but characters change and grow and LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN.
Kristin Scott Thomas plays the character with the dark past. She’s actually British, but she speaks French and lives in France which is just so fucking cosmopolitan I can’t even stand it. Anyway, her character, Juliette, was recently released from jail and goes to stay with her sister, Lea (Elsa Zylberstein, who IS French) and her sister’s family while she gets back on her feet. The whooollleeee movie is about Juliette struggling to return to society, being stigmatized by people who know her secret and trying, indignantly, to convince her sister and her sister’s family that she’s OK and that everything will be OK.
The performances are emotional, raw, nuanced, moving. The script is meticulous and cuts to the quick of human interaction.
Needless to say, I was bored out of my mind. I hate films that are GOOD. No, that’s not true, I just really wasn’t in the mood for this. It’s well done, but I didn’t think it was necessary. It isn’t the innovative piece of art that last year’s Le Scaphandre et le papillon was. It’s slow. It tells a story well. But, I feel like it’s story may have been better suited (for me) to a novel. I can see pages of beautiful language about Juliette’s inner turmoil and even though KST’s face speaks volumes, I wasn’t moved like I wanted to be.
If this movie isn’t nominated for an Oscar, I will buy drinks for everyone who reads this blog. Either Best Foreign Picture or Best Actress or possibly both. If it IS nominated, well, I’ll get drunk anyway.
11.18.08
Quantum of Solace
Casino Royale is a divisive Bond film. There are a lot of young people like me who didn’t know anyone but Pierce Brosnan as Bond and never really got excited about the genre that he defined. For these people, Casino Royale and the First Blonde Bond marked an exciting change and made a new, if tentative, Bond fan. Casino Royale took popular elements of badassitude that sprung from lucrative places like the Bourne franchise and applied them to an old character. It also humanized Bond in way that was rare in past films. He allowed himself to care, to fall in love and ultimately to be hurt. This appeals to a modern audience that wants to relate to their heros on a deeper level. Superman is OK — but his popularity with today’s youth reached new heights only when they were allowed to see him as a gawky teenager on Smallville. The X-Men trilogy was hugely successful because anyone could be a mutant. I’m not breaking any new ground with these assessments, but I think that’s why Casino Royale resonated with a new Bond audience, myself included. The only part that I deeply disliked about Casino Royale was Eva Green as Vesper. How could *that* be the girl that Bond falls in love with? Her voice makes my teeth grate. Smoky deepness like ScarJo is one thing. Sounding like you’re 2 Marlboro Reds from a tracheotomy is something else. I also found her acting to be wooden and obnoxious and generally unlikable. But lucky for her, this isn’t a review of Casino Royale.
Quantum of Solace takes the Bond character that so many people were drawn to in Casino Royale and lets him keep being awesome without going soft. He’s learned his lesson now, and even better — he’s out for revenge. This time around, Bond wants the truth about his dead lover and will stop at nothing to get it! YES!
Unfortunately, some bad guys get in the way. The movie falls right in line with so many recent films and even albums that have been trying their best to cash in on the ubiquitous “greening” of everything. Yes, in 2008, the bond villains are eco-terrorists with a head honcho, one Dominic Greene (Eco-terrorist named Greene? No Comment.) played by the surprisingly short, but still somehow appealing Mathieu Amalric (who is also great at playing a guy who can only blink to communicate). While Bond tracks down Greene, has a tryst with a tall redhead, tries to get to the bottom of what happened with Vesper and constantly runs afoul of M., he also keeps encountering the luscious and exotic Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko, who had a scene stealing cameo in Max Payne, which I actually saw). At first, he thinks he has rescued her from the grips of a deposed Bolivian dictator, but then he learns that she is on her own mission of revenge and doesn’t need rescuing at all (Ok, maybe a tiiiiiny bit of rescuing). YES, YES, YES!
With thrilling, well shot action sequences, steely, compelling performances and an interesting if not entirely awesome plot, Quantum of Solace won’t make you fall in love with James Bond all over again. But it’s OK, because you’re already seduced from before.
And no, for the record, they never explain what the fuck the title is supposed to mean and yes, I think it’s a shitty title.
11.16.08
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack & Miri are best friends and roommates. They are unabashedly losers with dead end jobs, no money and a crappy apartment in a Pittsburgh suburb. With rent due, their heat and water turned off and an embarrassing high school reunion to overcome, Zack has the brilliant idea to make and distribute a porno. They encounter problems along the way, both with the movie’s production and with their relationship.
YAWN. There are no surprises here, it’s just a run of the mill, formulaic movie with a regimented plot structure injected with PORNO to make it seem different.
That being said, there are a lot of funny jokes. Seth Rogen is believeable as…Seth Rogen. Elizabeth Banks, fresh from her turn as Laura Bush in W. isn’t given too much to do except look cute and be kind of slutty (does Hollywood need another one of her? Seriously, I can do that. No, I DO do that, but it would be awesome to get paid for it!) Being a longtime Kevin Smith fan, I liked seeing Jason Mewes as one of the porn stars. He was actually kind of decent. Jeff Anderson also managed to get work as the porn’s camera man. No, he’s not in the porno, so you don’t have to watch him have simulated sex with anyone (thank god for small favors). The rest of the cast is also quite funny. Craig Robinson who is probably best known as Darryl on NBC’s The Office is always hilarious and ought to be on his way to bigger parts instead of being relegated to these scene-stealing co-star roles. I’m not sure if he’ll be up to the challenge, but I’d be surprised if someone didn’t give him a chance. Maybe a buddy movie with Martin Lawrence or something? Eh, that sounds awful, actually.
The thing about movies like Zack & Miri Make a Porno that has been lamented already more times than I can count is that a fat shlub like Seth Rogen could never get a hot chick like Elizabeth Banks. I don’t know, on a good day I’m a hot chick (no Elizabeth Banks or anything) and I would totally fuck Seth Rogen. Even if he wasn’t famous. I think that most guys have learned by now that the quickest way into a girl’s pants is to make her laugh, right? If you haven’t, take note. It is.
I liked Zack & Miri. I won’t be rushing out to buy the DVD or anything, but I liked it. I also appreciate that even though there are various feminist theories that hold porn and its existence as being inherently degrading and bad for women (see MacKinnon, Catharine and Dworkin, Andrea) this movie felt to me much less misogynistic than so many Hollywood films. The women in the movie aren’t helpless (well, Miri is broke, but so is Zack), they’re sexually liberated and aren’t punished for it. Even the bimbo porn starlet is dumb, sure, but she’s also a complete person. Ironic, maybe, but I think Kevin Smith has admirably pro-female tendencies in his films. I’d never thought about it before, but looking back at his filmography, I think it’s certainly true. Hm. I’m going to think about this further…
*Please note, a positive review of this movie is by no means an endorsement for the horrible posters, which I LOATHE.