Australia
As a teenager, I very vividly remember going to see Moulin Rouge. Even then, I was a budding film snob, but my adolescent heart was still fluttering with excitement, from the marketing, the music, the experience that it promised. And boy did it deliver. With Moulin Rouge, Baz Lurhmann put himself on my map (I know he was already on many others) and as such, I was truly looking forward to Australia, which reunited Luhrmann with Nicole Kidman and put her opposite the unfathomable hunkiness of Hugh Jackman. But, as you may have guessed by now, I was sorely disappointed.
Australia starts out OK. Kidman as Lady Sarah Ashley does look fantastic in the period costumes: high waisted trousers and hats galore. But after a beginning that drags on, reiterating over and over THIS GUY is evil and THIS GUY is good, once the story finally gets rolling, you’re not sure what to care about. First, Lady Ashley has to save her dead husband’s cattle business with the help of Hugh Jackman. Then she has to rescue a half-aboriginal boy who has been disowned by his white father. Then she has to use her wiles as an unconventional woman to take an untameable man. Then…oh god, I’m getting bored even summarizing this! The point is, there are just too many stories and TOO much packed into the movie. With an ungodly runtime of 2 hours and 45 minutes, I prayed for it to end at least 4 times…and even kept thinking it was going to. After all, he’s not going to try to pack *another* story in, is he? Oh wait. Yes. He is.
YAWN.
Oh Baz Luhrman, we know that an unconventional woman is all it takes to tame an untamable man. WE KNOW. Thanks.