Movie Reviews, etc.
Me every time I see a billboard or bus poster for Wanted:
“Is this a poster for a movie? It looks like it wants to be a movie … but clearly isn’t. Maybe it’s an urban-crime miniseries on the CW, or the very-special Smallville two-part season finale, or … a breakfast cereal?
…in a battle to see who makes me want to see this movie less.
That is an ad for the Sex and the City movie, as well as Skyy vodka. If you’re going to shoot for a new level of cross-marketing prostitution, at least choose a brand that’s not the well vodka at Hooters.
I’ll be in NYC tomorrow, paying bums to piss on these ads.
Ah, subtitles. When you’re willing to read while you’re watching a movie, it must be great. Or else you were duped.
The trailer for The Band’s Visit is charming and funny. An Egyptian police band wandering a deserted street in Israel, trying to get to their gig but ending up in the wrong town! The poster is reminiscent of Wes Anderson, or something else quirky and warm with the blue uniforms standing stark against a harsh and dry background.
Yes, the marketing for this movie is pretty great, as far as these things go. Kudos, Sony Pictures Classics.
The movie itself was disappointing. Like its musicians, it meandered around slowly, directionless, relying on personality conflict instead of real humor. The band leader’s pride is funny for a little while, and his interactions with the sultry and brazen Dina are compelling. But writer/director Eran Kolirin piles quirk on quirk, like he watched Slums of Beverly Hills and then Buffalo ‘66 and then Independent Movie #846 and said to himself “Huh. I can do this. Quirk? Check! Awkward dinner table scene? Check! Ostensibly independent female character who doesn’t conform to the social mores of an economically depressed town and seeks escape through a stranger that hasn’t judged her yet? Check!”
The band finds themselves in a town where they aren’t supposed to be, but it turns out they need the town as much as it needs them.
Also, the vast majority of the film is in English, because that is the only language that both the Egyptians and the Israelis speak. However, the ENTIRE film is subtitled. In English. I found this to be very very annoying, because I find it extremely difficult to look away from English subtitles. And also because it makes no fucking sense.
Is it just me, or does this poster kind of give you a headache? It’s so busy and brash and loud and colorful but something is most definitely missing. It doesn’t make me think whimsy and magic, it just makes me glad I don’t have a kid to drag me to see this cheesy piece of crap.
Casey Affleck… really? In a movie directed by Ben Affleck? (Notice they were smart enough to leave that off the poster…)
Isn’t this a bit like if Ron Howard cast Clint Howard as the lead in ‘A Beautiful Mind’? I mean, Clint looks more like John Nash than Russel “ya testicle!” Crowe does…
Hmm, also I think Ron Howard is probably a better director than Ben Affleck.
I like Christina Applegate, but judging by the promotional material I’ve seen for “Samantha Who?“, her next series might be called “Christina Who?”
(I dare the soup to not make this same joke.)
Violence against women is bad.
Take it from me, Jodie Foster. I’ve been beaten, raped and had jizz thrown on my face more times on film than any other woman in Hollywood.
In fact, violence against women is so bad that it’s worse than murder. Watch my empowering movie and you’ll be giving a Columbian Necktie to those cat-calling construction workers in no time…
Poster Review
Cool it, Wes Anderson. I already like your movies. You really don’t have to waste everyone’s time making such pretty posters.
I like how the three guys each have their own thing going on (a crazy skull box, praying hands and a bandaged face, and a skeezy mustache and leis) and it somehow hearkens to the ’see no evil’ monkeys. On second thought, it very obviously refers to these monkeys (sunglasses, bandages on the ears and a mustache.) God, stop it with the clever!
I like the way that the aquamarine background has loads of detail, but because of the colors (maybe it’s some kind of filter, I’m not sure) it’s really unified and the people stand out starkly.
I also love how it reminds me of the Dushanbe Tea House which is a truly awesome place.
I think it really conveys the Wes Anderson quirkiness without seeming derivative of his other posters/films.
I’m going to shut up about it now. Just look at it. It’s so pretty!
Is that the preferred spelling?
This also makes me question ihop’s “Come hungry. Leave happy.” campaign…
Poster Review
Despite his obvious physical prowess and leadership skills, The Rock doesn’t look prepared to handle the responsibilities that a bulldog in a tiara can bring, much less the meanderings of that precocious little ballerina! He’s gonna need the help of every other football player with a speaking role, and probably some similarly cocoa-skinned love interest (not pictured) to get him through this ordeal!
We can only ponder what lessons he’ll learn along the way… that is until we all see The Game Plan on September 28th. Line up early if you want to make the midnight showing!
Armchair Marketing:
