03.12.08
Posted in drunk reviews, classic, drama at 9:59 pm by FilmFemme
So, this should probably be called “buzzed review” because I’m not really *drunk* - but that’s getting pretty technical, so whatever.
The Last Picture Show is really beautiful - not just the cinematography which is clean and expressive, but the story and the characters are really made beautiful by their flaws.
There are also lots of boobs.
Something that struck me about the people in this movie is they are all very classic looking. Even though, yes, that is Jeff Bridges, and that’s Randy Quaid and those are Cybill Shepherd’s tits, so maybe that’s why everything seems so familiar, but everyone in this movie seems to have very classic, timeless features. They could have come from any decade and still wound up in movies or sprawled on chaises for Impressionists or something like that.
Random notes I made during my viewing:
Jacy (Shepherd) = JC = Jesus Christ?
Jacy has the same hair as Claire Danes in Shopgirl. Hm.
Tall, Dark, Hottie: Are you a virgin?
Jacy: Guess I am
TDH: Too bad
Jacy: I don’t wanna be though!
TDH: I don’t blame you. Come and see me when you’re not.
Did you want to know what this movie is about? Basically a shitty town in Texas in the 1950s and there are these 2 guy friends played by Timothy Bottoms and The Dude and both of them really want to fuck Cybill Shepherd, only one of them gets to and the other one has to settle for Cloris Leachman. There is also a pool hall, a retarded kid, a hooker, a MILF, a naked swimming party, an alleged molestation and a movie theatre that (spoiler in the title!) shuts down eventually.
It’s great.
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08.20.07
Posted in drunk reviews, action at 3:49 pm by FilmFemme
So, for some reason I had wanted to see this movie. So when my roommate brought it home and wanted to watch it after Heathers, I thought it could be cool and I stuck around. Let’s keep in mind that my review of Heathers was my most recent Drunk Review. Needless to say, I had not sobered up by the time we popped in 300.
From what I gathered in my impaired state, a bunch of dudes, let’s call them the Six-Pack Spartans, need to go fight some other dudes, only there are way more of the other dudes. But it’s OK because the Spartans all have six-packs and what seem to amount to magical shields and generally superhuman asskicking abilities.
The whole movie is a weird shade of brownish-gold. And deeply crimson blood flies around in slow motion. And there’s some guy who wears a bunch of jewelry who the Spartans hate (probably because he like asked them for blowjobs or something, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened). There’s also a heavy-handed voiceover that explains *exactly* what is going on. And one chick who is like queen or something.
I know I was drunk and all, but, this movie was really confusing and the plot seemed to only function to string together hyper-stylized fight scenes. Lots of nice six-packs, though…I wish I could have gone to the wrap party for this movie.
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08.17.07
Posted in best of, comedy, drunk reviews, reviews at 10:04 pm by FilmFemme
I want Christian Slater to be my boyfriend and kill my enemies and then drive me away on his motorcycle and then blow himself up because I broke up with him because he’s a sociopath that kills all my enemies. That would be so fucking hot. And I would be getting laid a lot more than I am now.
Apparently he has been criticized for this before (I’ll find a link when I’m sober[here’s one from amazon]) but, why is Christian Slater doing a Jack Nicholson impersonation? Seriously.
Ok no, but really guys, I really liked this movie a lot. It made me fall in love with Winona Ryder all over again (I don’t remember being in love with her for the first time - Beetlejuice, maybe?). It was maybe not the most *realistic* high school movie. Like, everyone that gets murdered dies really fast. Too fast. And everything is all color-coordinated in a very artificial way. It reminded me of Jawbreaker. Only Winona Ryder is a zillion times cooler than Rose McGowan (unless she has a machine gun for a leg).
What happened to the other ‘Heathers’ in this movie? Shannen Doherty was actually likable for the first part.
I bet that ‘Blazers with Shoulder Pads, Inc.’ saw a sharp decline in profits in 1990.
Here is some choice slang usage from this movie that I am going to try to adopt:
“That is so very.”
“What’s your damage?” (this was also in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (why hasn’t anyone made a Heathers TV show?))
Here’s my favorite quote:
After killing 2 football players:
Christian Slater/Jack Nicholson: Football season was over. They had nothing to offer the school but date rape and AIDS jokes.
I didn’t know date rape and AIDS jokes even existed in 1989! I have so much to learn.
I loved Heathers. It might even be a movie I’d like to own.
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07.29.07
Posted in drunk reviews, drama, reviews at 2:58 am by FilmFemme
SPOILER ALERT (anything I write while drunk will probably spoil something…)
Hey man, the whole plot of Kids is pretty fucked up. Here’s my problem, so this girl Jenny (Chloe Sevigny’s debut role) gets HIV from this totally immoral dude named Telly (Leo Fitzpatrick’s debut - and pretty much the last thing he did worth mentioning). Jenny goes searching for him to tell him or yell at him or something. Eventually she finds him - while he’s having sex with another virgin. But, she doesn’t stop him! Maybe this is supposed to be realistic or something but as far as I can tell all it does is demonize Jenny for losing her virginity. Well, maybe not for that specifc reason, but it definitely does demonize her when it seems like she’s kind of a victim. Although, calling her a victim is kind of taking away her agency because it’s not like Telly raped her or anything. So I don’t know, I’m torn about this. But still, why the fuck wouldn’t she STOP HIM??? Also, the conversations among the girls seem to imply to me that they have sex for pretty much every reason except for that they want to. Except Rosario Dawson - she seems totally horny.
Basically, this movie is the quintessentially (that word is hard to spell while drunk) 90s indie flick. The style is so familiar - saturated and shaky and low-budget. It’s OK in general, but not that great. For a similar style and better characters and dialogue and such I guess I would recommend something like Buffalo ‘66. Hey but it’s Rosario Dawson’s first movie and she is pretty awesome. And what’s the deal with this Larry Clark guy? Look out for his next appearance on To Catch a Predator…
Oh, my final problem with this movie is that the soundtrack mixing was totally out of whack. Like, I know it’s low budget and all, but I had to turn the TV up sooooo loud just to understand what the fuck these kids were saying but then the background noise, was like, deafening. Is this really so hard? To balance these things out? Oh yeah, and why are commercials so much louder than TV shows? That is fucking annoying.
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