FilmFemme

Home Alone
“Man, that kid is SMART!”
Shooter
“I thought the dude was gonna die, but then he didn’t.”
Must Love Dogs
[insert sound of him leaving the room]

Me every time I see a billboard or bus poster for Wanted:
“Is this a poster for a movie? It looks like it wants to be a movie … but clearly isn’t. Maybe it’s an urban-crime miniseries on the CW, or the very-special Smallville two-part season finale, or … a breakfast cereal?

…in a battle to see who makes me want to see this movie less.

That is an ad for the Sex and the City movie, as well as Skyy vodka. If you’re going to shoot for a new level of cross-marketing prostitution, at least choose a brand that’s not the well vodka at Hooters.
I’ll be in [...]

[Poster not shown because it makes me hate John C. Riley, which is a bad thing]
This movie kind of shocked me by being funny. Funny with a very on-the-nose, Airplane-esque silliness (Riley plays Cox at age 12 and up, which is handled by constantly mentioning his age (”But Dewey, you’re only 14!!!”)). Also, it’s worth [...]

Casey Affleck… really? In a movie directed by Ben Affleck? (Notice they were smart enough to leave that off the poster…)
Isn’t this a bit like if Ron Howard cast Clint Howard as the lead in ‘A Beautiful Mind’? I mean, Clint looks more like John Nash than Russel “ya testicle!” Crowe does…

Hmm, also [...]

I like Christina Applegate, but judging by the promotional material I’ve seen for “Samantha Who?“, her next series might be called “Christina Who?”
(I dare the soup to not make this same joke.)

Violence against women is bad.
Take it from me, Jodie Foster. I’ve been beaten, raped and had jizz thrown on my face more times on film than any other woman in Hollywood.
In fact, violence against women is so bad that it’s worse than murder. Watch my empowering movie and you’ll be giving a Columbian [...]

Is that the preferred spelling?
This also makes me question ihop’s “Come hungry. Leave happy.” campaign…

Poster Review
Despite his obvious physical prowess and leadership skills, The Rock doesn’t look prepared to handle the responsibilities that a bulldog in a tiara can bring, much less the meanderings of that precocious little ballerina! He’s gonna need the help of every other football player with a speaking role, and probably some similarly cocoa-skinned love [...]

Jason Bourne: Aside from these headaches, living in India with Run Lola Run is pretty sweet. I may be the only rich white dude for 100 miles but it’s not like it’s possible for any normal human to rob me.
Sketchy Russians: Lets send some dude to kill Bourne, maybe he won’t be suspicious of a [...]