07.27.07
Guest (non)review: The Simpsons Movie — omega-list celebs, the ArcLight, and Empire Records
Once a prime-time lens that hilariously magnified the cracks in our crumbling society, The Simpsons has kind of sucked balls for about as long as Tupac has been pretending to be dead. Hype said that writers from “the good years” were used for the movie, but I had still resolved not to attend unless it hit greater than 90% on rottentomatoes‘ cream of the crop (it didn’t).
Still, I somehow found myself scheduled to see the film’s midnight showing at the ArcLight’s Cinerama Dome in Hollywood. Unfortunately, the crew I rolled in with centered around an omega-list celebrity high on his recent (non)mention half-way down the user-submitted sightings page on defamer. He wasn’t so bad, but his entourage (literally) kept shouting “We’re with someone FAMOUS!!!!” to any fellow ArcLight patron that would listen. This farcically Los Angeles bullshit made me decide to abscond before I could be further disappointed by the actual film.
Thus my “The Simpsons Movie” experience was as follows:
We were seated.
Some ArcLight douche came out and performed his best improv of “Howard Dean introduces The Simpsons Movie with too much enthusiasm and ruins his career… BYAAAAH!”
The lights went down, I got up, took a piss, and left.
I give the ArcLight dude an F+, the ArcLight men’s room an A-, and Empire Records a B+ for being somewhat generation defining and fun, but a bit overrated.